Heartless

So, something really heartless happened to me yesterday (if you think you know, do me a favor and just don't ask...all is cool now), but what I've realized is that thinking about it tonight has made me a thoroughly heart-less player (as in I am totally playing without heart tonight). My big rule is "no excuses" so let's call that a "rationale" instead. My mind is absolutely elsewhere and I feel it affecting me. I just came in dead last in a game of Gladiator, which normally is a game that I really love to play. And earlier I won a game of free for all by signing in as a level one, which I told myself I was not going to do...and yet... So all in all this has not been a night I am elated with. I'm giving myself a mental reset even as I type this. I don't care what happens...whatever the next game is I am turning my night around here and now. Come whatever, giving it heart...

Ok, that just sucked, but it sucked with heart! At least I put the challenge on myself by signing in as level six. I was about to sign in as a level one simply because it was a small game...two on two on one and I was the one flying solo until Lenny jumped in playing as a level three (really?) and joined my team. But you know what...those level ones were a couple of very capable guys who could hold their own (well, at least one of them could) and if I wanted to play with real heart I wouldn't have put limits on myself. But at the final second I decided "come whatever" meant signing in as a level six and pushing through.

Now my ankle is hurting and I'm back with the same group again. The time for principle playing is done. This will be my last game of the night (I have to work in the morning anyway), so I'm going in on even footing...except I'm really not because they just decided it's going to be a game of Highlander...dammit :) So...here we go...

Second place to Mitch. Nice job. But even coming in second he still blew everyone out of the water at Highlander and as Reba sang..."she ain't going out like that." So one more just so I can leave with my mojo.

Instead, she's going out like that.

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